This Week's Little Life Notes From Me to You
This is a sad one. My little dog Chloe died on Tuesday, she was a high-spirited being, and we were very close. She comforted me through tough times, like when I lost my mom, dad, my other dog and moved house, all in the space of 4 months. I was lucky that she died at home and we had cuddles the evening before. That was top of my mind all the next day, how she snuggled in and made her soft happy sounds in the last hours of her life.
Because she declined swiftly over the past few months, and thanks to the thoughtful advice of a friend, I was prepared with a plan and intention as to how much time I would take off work.
I took the day off to grieve and spent time in the garden. Summer’s in full swing and the sunshine, soil and plants were healing, it was a good way to let my mind and body rest. As a family we also went on her favorite walks and reminisced about her as well as other loved ones we’ve lost over the years. I'm doing well as a result, processing my emotions, and taking it easy.
It’s hard when you lose someone, life goes on and even though you’re grieving there’s still things to do and everyday reminders of your loved one. My tendency is to push on, but I’m making mistakes and it’s winding me up. So I’m taking my own advice about work-life balance and doing only the most vital tasks, being gentle with myself today will help me to be more effective sooner rather than later.
Be Happy with Less and Achieve More:
Insights into work-life balance.
by Francie Adamson
When you build your life with the mindset that you have enough and make your goals from this perspective, you can start everyday from a place of satisfaction.
If you begin the day with wanting something more, then that yearning puts you in state of dissatisfaction.
Certainly having desires is natural, we all have them, but it’s how much attention you give to the final result that’s important. That’s where balance comes in.
Let’s start by looking at this idea that in order to achieve more you need to have really big ambitious goals to feel good and achieve success.
My friend's father's life-long dream was to build a house when he retired. He had to find the right area, the plot, design the house, source materials, hire contractors and do some of the labour himself. It was an ambitious goal.
There were many setbacks along the way and as his focus was always on the final outcome it made him miserable.
Also, at the same time, his wife, whom he adored, became ill. Because he was so caught up in his project, he failed to see, or denied, that she had Alzheimer’s disease. By the time he was finished building his dream house it was too late for her to enjoy their retirement together.
While it’s true that ambition can be motivating, it’s not satisfying. That’s because the rewards you get internally from your body’s nervous and hormonal systems just don’t last for long. If a house takes two or three years from start to finish, and all you’re focused on is the end product, that’s a long time before you’ll get rewarded.
The way your body works, when you feel a sense of achievement you get a reward through your nervous system and hormones. Then you want more of that rfeeling once the hormones wear off. It’s survival, if we could stay satisfied for a long time, we’d be less likely to be motivated to take steps like finding food.
We’re all programed to want another reward within a day of getting what you want, so you will set your sights on the next goal and achieve it.
If you don’t get regular rewards, the longer this cycle is and the harder it is to keep motivated and stay happy- and the less productive you'll be.
The good news is you can activate your body’s reward system with small wins everyday, so planning to get daily wins will help you to feel rewarded, which feels wonderful. You do this by breaking down you goals into the smallest steps you can.
The beauty of it is that all big successes are made up of small steps anyway.
When my friend’s dad was building the house, if he had acknowledged and celebrated every step along the way, he would have spent more time with his wife and enjoyed the process more. He can’t regain those lost years now which would have given him so much more than an empty house to live in.
(He did have a happy and fulfilling life and marriage in many ways, by the way, this is just a piece of life which could have been better).
Whether your writing a book, looking for new purpose, or doing your job, taking a few moments to high five someone or do a little happy dance every time you complete a task will activate that internal reward system and keep you feeling happy and satisfied. You’ll be less driven and anxious and stay healthier too.
Break down goals into the small steps you can take daily to be contented. Make sure you’re sharing and connected to the ones you love and prioritize that over wealth or possessions. Build in self-care as a daily goal too- your health is your wealth!
When you start by working on a state of mind in which you have enough- you do have enough! Wherever you are, whatever you’re doing or feel your purpose is, it’s enough right now.
SWEET READ
Stillness is the Key: by Ryan Holiday
This is philosophy at it's easiest. Thoughts on what helps to make life meaningful, productive and more effortless explained through the stories of famous people from the present to ancient times. Many details about these people are surprising and interesting and clearly illustrate the point he's making. t's engaging and enjoyable, an excellent book to read before sleeping so you'll drift off with ideas that are helpful to creating work-life balance. I read a few parts twice not because they were difficult but because I wanted to absorb the information and make it a part of my philosophy.
UPCOMING EVENTS
Lunch and Learn: Happiness Happens- August 3rd at 12:00 PM Eastern Time. ONLINE.
August is Happiness Happens Month at Joy Core. We'll be exploring strategies to feel better in body and mind through daily habits and self-awareness. It's important to understand that joy is created by small things that feel good to you. It's entirely possible to get more satisfaction from life just the way it is. Let's get together to explore what your special formula for happiness could be.
Yes, I'm in!
Plus: Look for Live events on Facebook Wednesdays at noon.
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